| Nickname |
Nosebag,
Woodbine, Big T, Carlton, TW, Derek Johnstone |
| Position |
Missionary
and Front Row Union |
| Date of Birth |
2/4/74 |
| Place of Birth |
By
Caesarian, Ward 3, Western General Hospital, Edinburgh |
| Height |
5' 7" |
| Weight |
The correct
weight for someone the height of Richard Metcalfe |
| Previous Clubs |
SMFPRFC,
Stew Mel Lions, I.A.D.S, Forrester FPRFC, Edinburgh
Accies, and particularly fond of the various copies
of Club International found in Coyle's flat, especially
May 2001 |
| Representative Honours |
Lothian
Schools U15B replacement, Vienna Boys Choir, Stew Mel
/ Edin Accies Select against New Zealand U19 |
| Favourite Stew Mel player ever |
Our
club President, Eric Cartwright, for two reasons:
Firstly, for wearing the worst pair of blue denim tennis
shorts (complete with metal zip and buttons) during
the David Lister Testimonial Match on the hallowed Pitch
1.
Secondly, for having built a career at full back spanning
some 20 odd years by perfecting the art of avoiding
any form of contact whatsoever in both attack and defence.
Alistair Armstrong is one of the best modern day exponents
of this art, having watched many bull fighting videos.
|
| Favourite other player |
Our
Club Assistant Secretary, Christopher John Anderson.
He is the only prop I have ever played with in the 4th
XV who managed to persuade a referee to break up a scrum
so that he could take an immaculately folded white hanky
out of his shorts (which were starched and had creases
down the front) in order to blow his nose. |
| Bevvy of choice |
Spinal
Bummage, Larger Tops, Bombay Blue & Tonic (as long as
the quantities are those used at Yosser & Eileen's Christmas
/ New Year Party), Tins of Tony. |
| Most embarassing moment (on or off
the pitch) |
Burlington
Hotel, Dublin 1993 - sharing a room with Pav on an I.A.D.S.
tour.
On hearing a noise coming from corridor, Pav and Nosebag
went to investigate in the buff, as one does. Window
in room open. Gust of wind. Door slammed. Locked out
room in buff at 3.00 am. Nosebag decides to get in lift
and go to reception to get spare key. When lift doors
open in foyer, huge amounts of laughter from 1000 or
so rugby fans still drinking into wee hours of morning,
including all the players and officials from both sides
and their wives who had been attending a function in
hotel.
Managed to get to reception and asked Night Porter for
spare key to room. Nosebag told by Night Porter that
he would have to see some identification first, so Nosebag
proceeded to place adequate meat and two vegetables
on the counter and asked if this would suffice. Got
spare key and went back up in lift to go to bed with
Pav. |
| One unique fact about yourself? |
For
7 consecutive seasons, until my almost career threatening
ankle injury, managed to play for all teams in the club
each season. When I left school there was a 5th XV and
also regular outings for the I.A.D.S. |
| Celebrity Double |
Fat
Robbie Coltrane or Vigilante Carlstroem out of the Hives |
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to Support Team Page
|
