Toasted Cheese

Ah, the modesty of Mr Hume. On his Player Profile Form, when asked to name his Most Embarassing Moment, he wrote 'Too Many To Mention'. Ach, there's never 'too many to mention', James! For example, here's one Marigold thought of earlier ....

"Here's a warning for all of our club members, relating to the second XV's Joker-faced Wotsit-muncher: the Big Cheese.

"Around eight years ago, one of our club members bumped into James Hume whilst shopping. He was startled to see that Cheesy had large bandages wrapped around both hands and arms. When quizzed about the attire, Cheesy looked set to melt and mumbled 'Eh, eh, eh - I've had an accident'. It was at this point that our top squealer noticed Cheesy's brother David lurking in the background. 'Why didn't you turn up to rugby on Saturday?', he was asked. In reply, David stressed that he had no kit.

"It turns out that Tony Wood has some competition for the Club's most dangerous late night chef. The Big Cheese had returned to his parent's house drunk (remember, this was during his rowdy 'student days') and felt the urge for some freshly prepared cheese 'n' chips. Unfortunately, in true Nosebag style, he fell fast asleep shortly after placing the chip pan on the hob. Cheesy stirred only to find a room full of smoke and he was unable to dowse the flames. Thankfully there were no serious injuries and the Cheese was only lightly grilled around the edges. However, the house burnt down, and with it went David's kit!

"So the moral of the story is - be careful of the cheese late at night."

Return to James' Profile