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Melrose 3rd XV vs Stew
Mel 3rd XV, 14/1/06
Lord Of The Bus,
Part 3: Return Of The 3rd XV
After getting changed, we savoured the fine home cooking
and jugs of beer on offer in the main bar, where we also
enjoyed a pair of fine Kodak moments. We soon retired to
the more intimate Ned Haig bar, and it was there that the
subject of this week's competition was found. The centenary
Sevens tournament, in which Stew Mel made it to the final,
was commemorated in a cabinet on the wall with each team's
photo on display. In the Stew Mel team there was one player
who was unknown to all bar our latest Korean import. See
picture courtesy of Kodak employee Rycroft:
Now, for the first part of the competition: can you name
him?
The second part is a little more tricky: can you tell us
whether he scored during the final of the Twickenham Sevens?
The prize is a pair of tickets to next week's home game
against 'Sonians. These are like gold dust, so get your
answers in quick to stand a chance of scooping this great
prize.
It was about this time that the question was put to Manager
Coyle, "Are we stopping in Lauder on the way back?"
He was unable to answer as he was still to speak to the
driver. Well, you could have heard a pin drop, as the whole
journey was now in jeopardy. Matters soon got worse when
the driver came into the bar and declared he had to be home
by 7.30 pm as he had a date, so he was leaving in five minutes
with or without us.
As we discussed alternative methods of transport back to
Edinburgh, the kitty was sent with Waif, Park Eh and Johnny
from Grease (Sum Yung Guy) to the local shops. With Boroughmuir
1st XV and the Nails 2nd XV also playing in Melrose that
day, it was going to be a mad rush to get to the shops before
everything was sold out. As luck would have it, we were
the last to get there as the other teams had left hours
earlier in order to secure the best of the local grog before
we got to it. Well done, tw*ts. Our boys did a sterling
job, however, and we weren't sure if we would be able to
finish everything they had bought (if we did, we might glow
in the dark).
Rycroft had brought his iPod and had selected special songs
for the trip which have been mentioned in 'The Two Halves'
- see if you can find them. It had been decided that there
would have to be a special event to make a dent in our drink
reservoir, and so the Pathhead Challenge was introduced,
working to a similar structure as the Forth Road Bridge
version. The main differences were that, in the Pathhead
version, you didn't have the noise of the bus going over
the sections of the bridge, and the competitors were also
relying on people using the Pelican crossing on the main
street to give them more time to finish their alcopops before
the bus left town.
While we were all tucking into the refreshments and singing
jovial songs, Manager Coyle was working to redeem himself.
I still can't believe he was able to pull off such a master
stroke. As we approached the roundabout at the A68, the
bus was filled with flashing blue lights; Manager Coyle
had organised a five second disco - hurrah! With the boys'
spirits raised by the passing mobile disco, there was much
rejoicing, but things were about to get interesting, however,
as, after the roundabout, those same flashing lights greeted
us again. It was the Dibble, this time with the news that
the A68 was closed and we would have to find an alternative
route to get home. ONE MARK COYLE, THERE'S ONLY ONE MARK
COYLE. Pandemonium ensued on the bus, and there was much
rejoicing.
Then it happened again: "Did I tell you about my try?"
Zzzzzzz ...
As the Pathhead Challenge was not going to be possible
on the detour, it was time to make up an alternative activity.
With a big bottle of blue WKD and a bottle of port still
untouched, we were racking our brains to see what we could
do. Suggestions were: hold a juggling competition; use them
as imitation microphones for a karaoke competition; or play
Mallet's Mallet with the bottles. The winning suggestion
was to imitate Gazza after he scored against us in Euro
'96 - now that's a cheeky Vimto. Those members of the team
with smaller mouths struggled a bit, dribbling most of it.
It was Waif who was able to get both bottles into his mouth
without spilling a drop. Interesting.
As a result of the detour, the carryout was finished just
as we pulled up to Inverleith. Home at last.
Preparations are already underway for next week, and training
has been cancelled on Thursday night to allow a temporary
stand to be erected on Pitch 3 for the 'Sonians game. A
big crowd is expected, so get there early to get a good
seat- we don't want the kick off delayed to let the crowd
in, as we might have to do a warm up.
Richie Munro
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